Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Rumors surface in Hollywood of new movie Freemasons will want to see

Burbank, CA -- Rumors have surfaced this week that Marvel Studios, known for their successful and popular line of superhero movies, are currently working on a new film with a superhero that will be of interest to Freemasons. The Past Bastard contacted a MCU (Marvel Comic Universe) writer, who requested anonymity.

“It’s still in the draft stages right now,” the writer told The Past Bastard, “but the basics are this guy, Hiram Masters, who, in order to save this busload of orphans that was about to go off the edge of a cliff, makes a deal with Baphomet. Baphomet, who we think will be played by someone like Mark Sheppard, grants Masters super strength, so he pulls the bus off the edge of the cliff, right? But now he owes his soul, and the only way he thinks that he’ll be able to avoid eternity in Hell is to continue helping and saving women and children. As he goes along, he picks up other guys in similar predicaments, and they eventually form their own little, you know, club or lodge, I guess you call it.”
Hiram Masters is a Freemason
who was granted superhuman powers in order to save a busload of orphans, but who now owes his soul to the demon Baphomet. 

So, why the Freemason tie-in?

“We, you know, the MCU, we try to hit different demographics, and we’ve noticed that there’s a significant share of older folks who don’t get Deadpool, or Ant Man, or some of the other niche superheros. We thought that a superhero who was a Freemason would draw in the older people, especially since it aligns with the current Freemason membership demographics. Plus, since the Masons are so secretive, it means that if the franchise takes off, we can do all sorts of backstory changes, and nobody will be able to say it’s not canon.”

The Past Bastard asked if the writer could share any more details.

“Look, it’s way too early to say for certain, but we’ve already got Will Smith reading for the part of Hiram Masters, although personally I think he’s too old. We’re hoping for a younger guy, like Chad Boseman or Nicholas Hoult, Danny Kaluuya, or someone like those guys.”

The writer told The Past Bastard that the working title right now is “Goat Rider,”  and once they get production approval, will be releasing promotional materials sometime in the fall. "It's like Ant Man. We didn't expect much from it, but it turned out that people really enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure that this will end up the same way," he said.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

California Lodge to Modernize Dues Structure

Van Nuys, CA -- Citing a need to increase both dues and membership numbers, the members of Arbonne Lodge in this Los Angeles suburb have restructured their dues, so they now have various levels of membership.

“We think that we’re just breaking ground for many other lodges,” said Tim Ericson, Treasurer of Arbonne Lodge. “It’s almost embarrassing that someone hasn’t come up with this idea already.


Beginning in 2020, Arbonne Lodge will require new members to pay an initiation fee, plus the lodge dues of $125. However, if the candidate can get five more new members to sign up, he gets 20% of the initiation fee refunded to him.

“But that’s not the best part,” said WB Ericson. “After he gets five new members behind him, he’s elevated to “Master Mason Gold” status. That will entitle him to some special privileges around the lodge, like reduced prices on meals, or being able to rent the hall for ten percent off. And if each of his five members manages to bring in five, themselves, then he qualifies for Master Mason Platinum status.”

WB Ericson told The Past Bastard that they are still working on what privileges will come with the Platinum, and also the Iridium, Emerald, and Diamond levels. “We haven’t worked out all the details of those yet, but we figure we’ve got a couple of years before we need to firm it up” he told us.


Wednesday, January 30, 2019

George Washington Masonic Memorial To Add New Museum Wing

Alexandria, VA -- Officials at the George Washington Masonic Memorial have announced plans to open another wing at the museum, to feature the various collections of Masonic Square & Compasses pins that they have acquired over the last few years.

“It’s amazing, but people all over the US, and other parts of the world keep sending us different pins and medals that they keep finding,” Mike Taggart, Director of Museum Collections told The Past Bastard. “Usually they tell us it was something they discovered in their grandfather’s basement, or in a box their uncle gave them, or something they found somewhere. We’ve amassed a rather large collection of these, and we decided that they needed their own display area.”
Site of the planned wing of the
George Washington Masonic Memorial
which is being built to display the vast
collection of pins the museum has amassed.

The new wing will accommodate several thousands of pins, lapel pins, and chest medals the Museum has received. Volunteers are already working on cataloging them for the display areas.

The Past Bastard asked Taggart if they thought pins warranted an entire wing.

“Oh, definitely,” he told us. “Why, we get literally hundreds of visitors a year, and almost all of them are Freemasons who are wearing lapel pins of some sort. We all know that Masons are crazy about pins, so this wing will probably double our visitor count over the next few years.”

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Federal Dept. of Fraternal Societies releases marketing data


Aurora, CO -- Officials at the Federal Department of Fraternal Societies have released new data that show the relative “masonicness” of popular items purchased by Freemasons. The information will be helpful for marketers in Masonic supply catalogs  in order to properly manage their buying and advertising resources.

“It’s hard to keep up with the trends of Freemasons, sometimes,” said Luther Pendragon, Masonic Marketing Director at Macoy Masonic Supply. “Some years they go crazy for colored lapel pins. Then those fall out of favor, and we’re stuck with a warehouse full of pins, while the guys are sporting Square and Compass belt buckles, or whatever. That’s why this government research is important to us.”

The Past Bastard checked in with several other Masonic suppliers. Larry George, Masonic Purchasing Manager at JP Luther & Co told us “Freemasons tend to be fickle or faddish, but we do see the same things that top the lists. For example, a few years ago, everybody was wearing colored, oversized lapel pins. Lapel pins are still high on the charts, but the style is now headed toward a smaller, more subdued look.”


Brian McCoy, Advertising Director at Harry Klitzner Fraternal Supply, told The Past Bastard “We found that it was a losing proposition to try to keep up with the trends. In the last ten or fifteen years, we’ve concentrated on the basics, things like money clips, tie pins, cufflinks, the old standbys.”

The Past Bastard asked if they didn’t have a problem selling items associated with older men.

“Aw, hell no,” McCoy told us. “It’s a slow, but steady income, and the profit margin is twice what they get on those trendy pins and things. Hey, one of our biggest Christmas items was a Zippo lighter with a compasses on it. People aren’t even smoking, but they want to look cool, and a plastic Bic ain’t cutting it, if you know what I mean.”

The Past Bastard has contacted the Federal Department of Fraternal Societies in order to get a copy of the data, but as of publication, has not yet received the report.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Millennial Masons Make Meetings in New Digs

Chicopee, MA - Massachusetts has always been on the forefront of Masonic innovation, so Worshipful Brother Kyle Renn was confident that his idea for a new lodge would be approved.

“A bunch of us felt uncomfortable in those lodges in the Springfield area,” Kyle told The Past Bastard. “Nothing major, but we’re all in our 20s and 30s, and we just can’t get into feeling like a part of these old, historic lodges. Well, it’s not just the lodges, it’s the older members. Nothing against the older guys, but on one hand they’re complaining about the roof leaking, or the fridge that needs to be replaced, or how they have the same thing for dinner every meeting. But on the other hand, whenever you propose moving the dues up from, say, sixty or seventy bucks a year to a couple of hundred, they whine and howl about that.”

Brother Renn met up with a number of other younger members during district meetings, and they came up with an idea.

“We decided that it was just too much work to change the culture of the older lodges, so we wanted to start our own. We don’t have much money, but we figured we could meet in some free or very inexpensive places, and not worry about having the buildings falling down around us,” he told The Past Bastard. “We found a spot, got some agreements, and contacted the Grand Lodge for permission. There was surprisingly very little pushback, and we got a working charter right away. We’ve been meeting for the last six months, and I expect that we’ll get the formal charter for McDonald Lodge at the next Grand Lodge session.”

Worshipful Brother Renn and a dozen of so other brothers from around the area hold their meetings twice a month at a McDonald’s Restaurant at a shopping plaza in Chicopee. The Past Bastard asked Worshipful Brother Renn about their decision.
McDonald Lodge (Under Dispensation) is the newest
lodge chartered by the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts.

“I know what you’re thinking, but for us, it made perfect sense.There’s a few tables in the back corner that are perfect for seating a small group. We are intentionally keeping our lodge small; there’s about ten or twelve of us, so it’s not overly crowded,” he explained. “When you consider that half the lodges in the area barely get enough members to open, we think that this is a workable number.”

“Also, at seven to eight o’clock in the evening, it’s never crowded, and since we don’t have to discuss fixing the roof, or painting the siding, or replacing the furnace, or any of those things that take up eighty percent of the time in our old lodges, we can have a meeting, then some nice discussion, and we’re done in an hour,” Worshipful Brother Renn told The Past Bastard.  “Plus, they have wifi, the coffee is decent, and we can have a festive board that won’t break our budgets.”




Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Lodge uses kids to get more adults

New Hope, TN -- Inspired by an article on Chris Hodapp's blog, the members of Mountain Fell Lodge No. 449 started looking around for projects that needed to be done. However, without ties to a boy Scout troop  or even a DeMolay Chapter, the members couldn't bring themselves to make their small chapter of Job's Daughters responsible for cleaning, painting, or shingling the roof. However, Past Senior Deacon Jonah Momoa did see one opportunity that has led to a positive impact on their lodge.

"I almost didn't even go to lodge that night," said Bro. Momoa. "My wife was sick, and she was giving me the stink-eye about going out to lodge and leaving her with three kids when she was down with the flu. So then I started thinking, it's too bad that they don't have a day care group like we do in our church, and that's when it hit me: we got a bunch of teenage girls who could be doing that. So, I went to lodge anyhow, and brought up the idea. Then Mark Jacobs talked to his wife Ruth -- Ruth runs the Jobie Bethel chapter thing, you know -- and she brought it up to the girls. By the next month, we had the Jobies running a babysitting group at the lodge."

Worshipful Brother James Isiah, Master of Mountain Fell Lodge, told The Past Bastard that he was pleased with how things were working out.

"We've had an increase in members showing up. A few of them are divorced dads who can bring the kids down, where the girls keep an eye on them. And we've had a surprisingly good response from the wives of members who use it as an opportunity to get out of the house, themselves. I think that some of them meet up at the Elks over on Maple Street, and have a few wine coolers," he said.

The Past Bastard contacted Bethel Guardian Ruth Jacobs to ask how well the babysitting idea was going.

"Oh, it's just like those guys to ask that the girls babysit, but not to offer much in the way of compensation," she told us. "They come down on a meeting night, they give the girls leftovers. They're teenage girls, they don't want to eat baked chicken and green beans, for Pete's sake! We're going to give it a few more months, and then renegotiate."

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Grand Lodges to offer "Belly Mason Rewards Card"

Steubenville, OH - The members of the Grand Lodges of Ohio, Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, and North Carolina have started out the New Year with an announcement that the members of their respective constituent lodges will be eligible to buy into their Belly Mason Rewards Club.

"Some of us noticed how many of our guys were going to different restaurants all the time 'cause they had rewards cards; you know, like Cracker Barrel, Shoney's, Red Robin, and all those places," said VWB Wynn Dixon, the Belly Mason Coordinator for the Grand Lodge of Pennsylvania. "We thought it would be nice if we could get that kind of loyalty and consistency from our members, and a few of us thought that maybe some kind of rewards card for things like table lodges, surf & turfs, and fish fries would be something the brothern would be interested in."

Members would buy into the Belly Mason Club for $25, for which they would get an electronic swipe card for their wallet, similar to the ones used at coffee shops. Participating lodges would simply scan their cards, for which they would build up credits over the course of the year.

Before long, lodge members will be able to use their
Belly Mason Reward Card to save money on
meals at masonic lodges all over the region. 
"We figure it would take about six months of dinners to start paying off for the members," said VWB Dixon. "After that, their credits would get them things like five percent off the next dinner, or if they waited a few more months, perhaps enough credits for a free dinner. The more they go, the more they'll save."

VWB Dixon said that they're hoping that this program will expand into the neighboring states. If they can get enough support, they plan to create a phone app. "Although that's much farther down the road, since most of our guys are still using flip phones," he said.