Thursday, April 5, 2018

AASR SJ valley petitions SGIG to build wall to stop NMJ member emigration

Guthrie, OK - A recent wave of attempted Scottish Rite member emigration out of the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction to the AASR Southern Jurisdiction has one SJ valley concerned and ready to take action. Fueled by disillusionment sparked over the inability of NMJ members to gain entry to -- or pronounce -- the NMJ's Hauts Grades Academy, and resentment over the new NMJ baby boomer recruiting strategy, brethren have been attempting in record numbers to leave the cold, video degree-laden NMJ for the warm embrace of Pike intellectualism that pervades the Southern Jurisdiction. But not everyone wants to welcome these "Scottish Rite dreamers" into the SJ fold. The Past Bastard has learned that the brethren of MAGA (Make Aasr Great Again) Valley, Ancient & Accepted Scottish Rite in Oklahoma have formally petitioned their SGIG to stem the influx of SJ hopefuls.

The Past Bastard spoke with MAGA Valley's Personal Representative to the SGIG, Ill. Bro. Joe Snow, 33°, to gain his insights into the evolving concern over illegal AASR immigration: "Well, the fact of the matter here is that there's not a lot of opportunity for the younger guys to get their KCCH or 33rd degree Inspector General unless some of the old timers kick the bucket. These guys put their hearts and souls into one day getting a shot at an honorary title, and then all of these NMJ brothers come flocking in from everywhere to gobble up their honorary slots! Our 32nd degree brethren have a right to be upset. These NMJ undesirables are stealing Inspector General slots that rightfully belong the true blue, 'born and raised' SJ members!"

When The Past Bastard asked Ill. Bro. Snow,  33°, about the valley's petition to the SGIG, he explained plainly: "Our valley has sent a petition to our Sovereign Grand Inspector General for the Orient of Oklahoma requesting he petition the Sovereign Grand Commander to build a wall delineating the borders between NMJ and SJ jurisdictions. That oughta keep the undesirables out." Ill. Bro. Snow, 33°, continued: "And that's not all! We've even got a plan to get the wall paid for! We're going to make the Supreme Council, Northern Masonic Jurisdiction pick up the tab! After all, we're saving them a boatload of dues revenue by denying their members entry into our jurisdiction. It's a win for both sides." 

The Past Bastard mentioned to Ill. Bro. Snow, 33° that a physical wall would likely have minimal effect on NMJ brethren attempting to join the SJ (you know, in the age of e-mail and all), but Ill. Bro. Snow, 33° remained confident that his valley's plan would succeed: "We've got it all worked out. You can't just leave a wall unguarded. We've already arranged to have our Knights of St. Andrews and members of our local Oklahoma Knights Templar Commanderies patrol the wall once it's built. They need something to do anyway." 

Requests for comment directed toward the Sovereign Grand Inspector General of the Orient of Oklahoma were not immediately returned.


  1. “When NMJ sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing DVDs. They're bringing cypherbooks. They're ruffians. And some, I assume, are good people.”

  2. Shriners patrolling the wall with M60s mounted on their funny cars, St. Andrews playing their bagpipe practices over loud speakers for PsyOps... How did we end up here?

  3. Slamming the door in the face of NMJ Scottish Rite refugees would betray our deepest values. And the notion that they would be filled with doubt, questioning their places in this great fraternity of ours, and left wondering what the hell those powder blue caps are for —

    That’s not who we are!

  4. This entire post and sentiments are extremely un-Masonic and counter the tenets and values of brotherly love and fraternalism. This is embarrassing to the Craft and the authors and supporters would benefit from exploring the work and obligations to remember (or more appropriately understand) the lessons and charges.
    Unbelievable that our sacred Ancient fraternity can be contaminated by the divisional ignorant hateful politics of the current administration.
    I charge every reader and the author to look into your sanctum sanctorum and reject this un-Masonic conduct.

    1. If you don't know what satire is, you shouldn't be writing.