"I don't care what you've been hearing, it's not a ban on Oklahomans," explained Roger "Gabby" Johnson, Grand Lodge Media Affairs spokesperson. "The Grand Lodge, and in particular, the Grand Master, himself, has become aware that visitors from other, foreign jurisdictions have been telling our members about the odd customs practiced elsewhere. We have a responsibility to our membership to maintain the purity of our ancient Craft Masonry here in Arkansas, and we do not want them to become confused by the practices of foreign jurisdictions."
Instead of sending out the list of banned foreign jurisdictions to their lodges, the Grand Lodge found that it would be easier to mail a list of the acceptable jurisdictions.
"Right now we've limited acceptable visitors to those hailing from the Grand Lodge of West Virginia," said WB Johnson. "We're pretty sure that we will be adding those from the Grand Lodge of Georgia, the Grand Lodge of Tennessee, and possibly the Grand Lodge of Hawaii."
When The Past Bastard questioned the Hawaiian visitors, "Gabby" explained, "It's because those guys usually bring pineapples. Pineapples are great with the ham dinners."
--Conte Calvino Gliostro