Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Citing popularity of "Masonic Pride Day," Grand Lodge seeks other means to profit off of cultural appropriation

Nashville, TN - On Saturday, August 18th, Masons from across the country gathered together--metaphorically speaking--to wear raise awareness for Freemasonry by wearing Masonic apparel and proclaiming that they were "out and proud" to be Freemasons. In light of the tremendous success of Freemasonry's first "Masonic Pride Day," one Grand Lodge is hoping to find other ways to raise awareness, and ultimately membership numbers, for Freemasonry by appropriating so-called "best practices" from other cultures.

Bro. Joe Snow, spokesperson for the Grand Lodge of Tennessee, spoke to The Past Bastard on how the idea for Masonic Pride Day first originated: "Well, those boys up in Illinois had the initial idea for the event. We just bonused off of it. I mean, it's brilliant. The gay community has pride events all the time. They dress up and march in parades, a lot like we Masons used to do, and it always generates a lot of interest for their cause. And I thought well hell, just cause we won't let gays into the fraternity doesn't mean that they don't have some great ideas we can use. I'm just sorry we didn't think of doing our own 'pride day' first!"

Bro. Snow continued, explaining that he had seemingly found the panacea for all of Masonry's woes: "What we need to do to save Masonry is be more culturally literate. You know, show that we understand other cultures exist outside of Masonry. We're working on a bunch of new Grand Lodge initiatives to that effect. You could say that cultural literacy is my new spirit animal. Anyway, we're gearing up for a great Cinco de Mayo festival next year that is sure to raise a lot of money for some good charities. It'll be open to everybody, as long as attendees provide proof of citizenship at the door. Can't have any of them illegals getting in, know what I mean? We're also taking some ideas from that degree team in Oklahoma. I don't know any native Americans myself, but several of us here at the Grand Lodge just ordered a bunch of headdresses and faux peace pipes to hand out to our education committee for use in degree work. We think it'll be a rip roarin' good time!"

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Grand Lodge of Louisiana withdraws recognition from Knights of Columbus

Red Stick, LA -- The Masonic world was in a state of agitation this week after Most Worshipful Martin J. Reinschmidt, Grand Master of Louisiana, issued an edict in which the Grand Lodge of Louisiana withdrew recognition from the Grand Convocation of the Knights of Columbus.

Although the details are sketchy, rumors on Masonic social media suggest that the issue originated with Supreme Grand Commander, Sir Knight Francesco "Fat Frankie" DiBennodetto, who MW Reischmidt accused of conduct unbecoming a Mason earlier this year. 

Adding to the confusion in the online temple is the fact that the Grand Lodge of Louisiana does not, in fact, recognize the Knights of Columbus. The mixup seems to originate from the similarity of the name and dress to the Masonic Grand Encampment of the Knights Templar.

(see this article from The Past Bastard on the Knights of Columbus).

"Well, dadgum it, all those guys look the same, you know what I mean?" said MW Reinschmidt when asked about the withdrawal of recognition. "All those buttons and plumes and everything,. You'd think they got all those uniforms from the same place or something."

The Past Bastard reached out to the Grand Lodge of Louisiana to see if the Grand Master would rescind his withdrawal, since under the circumstances, there was no recognition between them in the first place.

"Absolutely not," was the answer from a Grand Lodge spokes person. "Just like the Pope, the Grand Master's decision are infallible."

The Past Bastard will continue to report as more information becomes available.

Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Amity proving useful for travelers seeking friendly lodges

Little Rock, AK -- Frustration with trying to find a lodge while traveling on business, and tired of the constant questions on social media of which lodge is good, recommended, or possibly unrecognized or clandestine, gave some brothers the initiative to develop Amity, an app that lists mainstream, recognized lodges in North America and Canada.

User support has been strong, and the list of recognized lodges has been growing. However, there's been some support from an unusual source: Freemasons from Arkansas.

"Oh, gosh, no, our Grand Lodge can barely use the fax machine; our Grand Secretary would never use this," said a brother who would only be identified as "Hiram." He explained "Our Grand Lodge has had so much infighting and arguing that lodges in neighboring states pretty much stopped letting us traveling men in to visit."

"Hiram" told The Past Bastard that a small number of the "normal" Arkansas brothers use Amity to find out which lodges in Oklahoma, Texas, or Missouri still allow Arkansas Masons into their lodges.

"It's been great for us, because a lot of times we get to a lodge just before it opens, meet a few guys, and then they hear where we're from, and you see the look on their faces. We just want to travel, like other Masons, you know? Why should we have to suffer just because our Grand Officers are a bunch of... well, you get the idea," he told us.