Monday, October 17, 2016

Disenfranchised Masons form new Arkansas Grand Lodge to right wrongs

Fayetteville, AR - A group of disenfranchised Masons sick of the horrific antics perpetrated by the Grand Lodge of Arkansas--recently dubbed the "North Korea of American Freemasonry"--have taken matters into their own hands by forming a new grand lodge to govern the grand jurisdiction of Arkansas. Tentatively named "The Regular Wheaton Grand Lodge of Arkansas," this new Grand Lodge was reportedly formed to inculcate the values of human decency and brotherly love across the state.

MW Brother Joe Snow, Grand Master pro tempore of the Regular Wheaton Grand Lodge of Arkansas spoke to The Past Bastard about his and his fellow brethren's decision to form a new Grand Lodge, and what they hope to accomplish: "The fact is we were left with no other choice. We couldn't effect change from within, and we weren't allowed to leave to promote change from without. The only choice we had left was to schism. Thus, as the Grand Lodge of Arkansas has completely departed from core Masonic values to include faith, hope, charity, and brotherly love, we have rechristened that organization as the 'Impostor Grand Lodge of Arkansas', as it clearly no longer represents Freemasonry."

When asked about the organization's name, Bro. Snow explained: "We chose the name Wheaton largely due to Wheaton's Law, as a reminder to ourselves and an admonition to impostor organizations to treat everyone with respect and human dignity. In fact, human dignity is one of our highest aims. Our very first initiative is to request recognition from the United Grand Lodge of England so that we can, in turn, offer blanket recognition not only to our Prince Hall counterparts, but also to all Prince Hall jurisdictions who are recognized by their state Grand Lodge counterparts. Our very next policy will be to extend immediate reinstatement to all former brethren of the Imposter Grand Lodge who were either suspended within the past year or elected to self-expel. Finally, we'll proudly open our doors and offer immediate membership to any current member of the Impostor Grand Lodge who wishes to heal himself by coming to our organization. We don't expect that we can right the wrongs of the Impostor Grand Lodge overnight, but we're in this for the long haul."

When The Past Bastard asked Bro. Snow about his recourse should UGLE deny his request for recognition, Bro. Snow answered calmly: "We're playing the long game here. Based on publicly available demographic data, the Impostor Grand Lodge won't have any members left inside of five years. When it collapses, we'll be there to bring Masonry back to decency."

This writer of The Past Bastard wishes the Regular Wheaton Grand Lodge of Arkansas the very best in their endeavors, and plans to pop popcorn and take a front row seat to the now-inevitable collapse of the bastion of hatred, bigotry, and idiocy that is the (Imposter) Grand Lodge of Arkansas. At this point in time, if being clandestine is wrong, this writer of The Past Bastard doesn't want to be right.

- SK Bro. Mason Buhrmaster


  1. I haven't been watching this closely but have read a few things here and there. I know there are a multitude of reasons that have led to this course of action.

    In the spirit of declaring independence the wisdom of our founding fathers might well apply here. So, have they completed the following paragraph in some form or another?

    "When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

  2. Love your work. Thanks for the shout out to my page. Bobby Jim Hulder

    1. Sorry, brother. I've never seen your page, nor did I intend any specific "shout-outs" throughout the course of writing this article. It is, after all, satire. -MB

  3. I actually don't see whats wrong with what the Grand Lodge of Arkansas. Let me explain first.

    I come from a place which will remain anonymous where Freemasonry is not allowed online at all by us members, no exceptions at all. Where I am from, there is almost ZERO issues, ZERO leaks of private information, and ZERO problems with our craft being misrepresented by a few brothers.

    Brothers that were suspended in Arkansas. I am very sorry to hear about that, but in my jurisdiction it is not a problem, and we see ourselves as honorable for not breaking the rules set before us.

    in some places I see that freemasonry is ok to be public in any sense, and in the long run it is hurting our long term survival.

    my jurisdiction has many brothers that use the internet for work or home, but they do not show anything masonry related, they don't talk online about anything masonry related, and they don't misrepresent the craft while online.

    remember... ONE book (morals and dogma) has caused decades of "anti-masonry" and the problem persists decades later even though books are almost irrelevant today to general public!

    i am actually in favor of the Grand Lodge of Arkansas' decision... PERIOD!

    For example, Saying something on facebook like "visiting sick children today at Shriners Hospital" should be 100% okay! BUT signing up an account on facebook like "Brother John Doe, S.W.'." should not be allowed and should be punishable.

    as a Freemason, truth is what we all seek (in many forms), and secrecy is the backbone of our fraternity! if your handed a suspension, and there is proof of your behavior... i would expect you to do the honorable thing and wait the time & come back with a fresh start.

    these guys starting their own Grand Lodge in Arkansas... I don't see them as patriots at all... I see them as rebels fighting the system like teenagers that are caught "red-handed" and still think their cause is righteous.

    calling your own Grand Lodge an "Imposter" while speaking masonically is wrong on so many levels! as dualism taught many... what is wrong to one person may be right to another. explanation... while 1 or many may be mad at the Grand Lodge of Arkansas... they still helped out many brothers, their families, and their communities...

    so the final questions I ask is to that Clandestine Wheaton Grand Lodge...

    1. What has you/your group done for Arkansas?

    2. What has you/your group done for Freemasonry at all?

    3. If you cant follow your states rules now, why should England grant you a charter?

    4. Prince Hall has nothing to do with this issue of suspended regular members in your state, yet... you use their name & reputation for seeking recognition in your state for your own personal gain... are you willing to answer up to this when Prince Hall masons start to question you for doing this?

    5. What do you call a Freemason that seeks his own personal gain, or his groups personal gain, while sullying the name of his fraternity during his own dispute with his jurisdiction? Clandestine?

    6. If a child was punished for fighting in school, then the child went online crying about it and made all the teachers lose their jobs until a new school was formed that pleased that child... wouldn't you see that as wrong? (its what these clandestine Wheaton guys are doing metaphorically)

    7. If the Grand Lodge of Arkansas initiates 100 people a week on a proper charter (not real numbers, just examples) and you initiate 1 person at all on no charter... why should you call Grand Lodge an "imposter"?

    my last comment...

    I really hope the Grand Lodge of Arkansas EXPELLS ALL of the members in this "wheaton grand lodge", and the more I think about it... they deserve it!

    When I was a kid, If i got in trouble, I didn't ruin anybodies reputation, I would take the punishment like a man!

    - a concerned young brother who cares about what the crafts future will be with the present state of negative internet usage

    1. You do get that this is a satire site, right?

    2. Satire is a technique employed by writers to expose and criticize foolishness and corruption of an individual or a society by using humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule. It intends to improve humanity by criticizing its follies and foibles. A writer in a satire uses fictional characters, which stand for real people, to expose and condemn their corruption.
      A writer may point a satire toward a person, a country or even the entire world. Usually, a satire is a comical piece of writing which makes fun of an individual or a society to expose its stupidity and shortcomings. In addition, he hopes that those he criticizes will improve their characters by overcoming their weaknesses.

  4. Well, you've made the news this week. Enjoy your winnings, sir.

    1. I suppose if you were an ostrich and buried your head in the sand where you could not see or hear, you might accept what I just read. There are masons in Ar in small lodges that have no clue what is going on and has been for several years. They are the same ones who ask, you mean there was a Little Rock Crisis in 1957, I never heard that. Having been a mason for well over 50 years, do I see a change? The answer is a definite Y E S....