Grand Lodge pulls recognition from Cuba after negotiations stall over "clandestine" cigars

Havana, Cuba - Relations between the Grand Lodge of Cuba and the Grand Lodge of Florida are on the rocks again as the Grand Lodge of Florida last week rescinded recognition of the Grand Lodge of Cuba, reportedly due to stalled negotiations on the quality of Cuban cigars delivered to the Grand Lodge of Florida as part of the original terms for recognition. Sources close to the Grand Lodge of Florida, who spoke to The Past Bastard on the condition of anonymity, stated: "Well, the Grand Lodge of Florida only recognized them [the Grand Lodge of Cuba] in the first place because they promised to provide a steady influx of Cuban cigars for our Grand Lodge Smoker events. Lots of money to be made with high-class Smoker events. But when our first 'shipment' arrived, it was full of counterfeit cohibas that were clearly made in Florida and tasted like wet cardboard. The Smoker event was a disaster. We ran out to get some backup cigars, but Swisher Sweets just don't pair well with Glenlivet."

Brethren who attended the Smoker event have reportedly taken to labeling these goods as "clandestine cigars." Brother Joe Snow, spokesperson for the Grand Lodge of Florida, stated that the Grand lodge simply didn't see any option besides pulling recognition: "Ultimately, we had to cut our ties with the Grand Lodge of Cuba. We've been dealing with these so-called 'clandestine' Cuban cigars here for years. Part of our negotiation with the Grand Lodge of Cuba was that we wouldn't have to worry about conterfeit cigars ever again, because they'd be supplying us with a steady supply of the real thing. After the first botched shipment, it was made clear to us that the Grand Lodge of Cuba has no intention of assisting us in shutting down these clandestine fumatory activities."

With the restoration of diplomatic relations between the United States and the island nation of Cuba that occurred in 2015, many brethren hoped that years of fraternal amity might follow. Unfortunately for now, those hopes seem to have gone up in smoke.

-SK Bro. Mason Burhmaster