Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Citing popularity of "Masonic Pride Day," Grand Lodge seeks other means to profit off of cultural appropriation

Nashville, TN - On Saturday, August 18th, Masons from across the country gathered together--metaphorically speaking--to wear raise awareness for Freemasonry by wearing Masonic apparel and proclaiming that they were "out and proud" to be Freemasons. In light of the tremendous success of Freemasonry's first "Masonic Pride Day," one Grand Lodge is hoping to find other ways to raise awareness, and ultimately membership numbers, for Freemasonry by appropriating so-called "best practices" from other cultures.

Bro. Joe Snow, spokesperson for the Grand Lodge of Tennessee, spoke to The Past Bastard on how the idea for Masonic Pride Day first originated: "Well, those boys up in Illinois had the initial idea for the event. We just bonused off of it. I mean, it's brilliant. The gay community has pride events all the time. They dress up and march in parades, a lot like we Masons used to do, and it always generates a lot of interest for their cause. And I thought well hell, just cause we won't let gays into the fraternity doesn't mean that they don't have some great ideas we can use. I'm just sorry we didn't think of doing our own 'pride day' first!"

Bro. Snow continued, explaining that he had seemingly found the panacea for all of Masonry's woes: "What we need to do to save Masonry is be more culturally literate. You know, show that we understand other cultures exist outside of Masonry. We're working on a bunch of new Grand Lodge initiatives to that effect. You could say that cultural literacy is my new spirit animal. Anyway, we're gearing up for a great Cinco de Mayo festival next year that is sure to raise a lot of money for some good charities. It'll be open to everybody, as long as attendees provide proof of citizenship at the door. Can't have any of them illegals getting in, know what I mean? We're also taking some ideas from that degree team in Oklahoma. I don't know any native Americans myself, but several of us here at the Grand Lodge just ordered a bunch of headdresses and faux peace pipes to hand out to our education committee for use in degree work. We think it'll be a rip roarin' good time!"


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