Asbury Park, NJ -- GEKT, the body that oversees the Masonic Knights Templar in the US, Canada, and the rest of the Western Hemisphere, has been responding to rumors that they have been asked to begin informing commanderies in major US cities that they will no longer be allowed to have public displays of regalia.
“We have been hearing that we'll have to scale back on our displays of public and community presence, so as not to offend the members of the growing Muslim communities,” said Past Grand Commander Bruce Springfield. “The increasing numbers of Islamicists are offended because they remember how we Knights trounced their butts back in ‘87,” he explained, referring to the 1187 conquest of the city of Jerusalem, for which they were ultimately unsuccessful in holding.
Past Grand Commander Dusty Rhodes was less reserved. “It’s an outrage, is what it is. We -- the Knights Templar -- have been successfully defending Christianity and America since the Crusades, and what our treasonous, Muslim-controlled government wants to do is to muzzle us, that’s what. Once we’re no longer able to defend the faith and protect the faithful, then the Saracens will just walk right over us. Our blood will run in the streets, and those savages will dip the tassels of their fezzes in it and whip them around, just like in that comic book.”
Neither PGCs Rhodes or Springfield were able to confirm where or how the rumors originated, but suggested that the New York Times had something to do with it.
Grand Commanders of other Commanderies around the US appear to be non-plussed by the rumors. “We don’t really pay any attention to anything that comes out of the northeast, anyway,” said Past Grand Commander Robert Sinatra. “Those guys are always complaining about something, but unless it comes out of Colorado, then we can usually safely ignore them. We'll have as many public and community displays as we have always done.”
-- Conte Calvino Gliostro