Monday, August 22, 2016

Grand Lodge to partner with Nigerian Royal Family to form relief fund

Boise, ID: This morning, the Grand Lodge of Idaho issued a statement announcing their intent to partner with the Nigerian royal family to form a new relief fund aimed at alleviating the financial distress of brethren across the world. The idea for the aptly named "Widow's Son Nigerian Royal Relief Fund" (WSNRRF) reportedly came about from a single e-mail sent to the Grand Master of Idaho's personal America On-Line (AOL) account.

Bro. Joe Snow, chairman of the Grand Lodge of Idaho Committee on Charity, explained further: "When our Grand Master received a personal call for assistance from a representative of the Nigerian royal family, he knew that our Grand Jurisdiction couldn't stand idly by. Mr. Clement Okon, authorized representative of the Nigerian royal family, had initially appealed to the Grand Master for assistance with moving a sizeable portion of the family's inheritance to the US banking system. Mr. Okon offered the Grand Master a large fee for his services, but our Grand Master seized this opportunity to spread the Masonic virtue of charity by partnering with Mr. Okon to utilize the sum to start the Widow's Son Nigerian Royal Relief Fund!"

Per the Grand Lodge of Idaho official statement on the WSNRRF, the fund will initially have a budget of $200,000, funded completely through the generosity of the Nigerian royal family. The Grand Lodge of Idaho is working to send the $5,000 required by Mr. Okon to cover the transfer costs of the rest of the sum to the US banking system, and has already convened a board to govern the use of the relief fund.

When asked if the Grand Lodge had considered the possibility that the offer on the part of the Nigerian royal family was in some way fraudulent, Bro. Snow responded: "As Masons, we have the duty show charity to all mankind. Performing this duty to the best of our abilities at times necessitates taking brethren at their word. Mr. Okon has stressed that the transactions are '100% safe,' and I think we owe it to the people of the world to trust his judgment and expertise in this case."

The Past Bastard attempted to reach out to Mr. Okon for comment, but was unable to find either his contact information or proof of his existence. The Nigerian royal family did not immediately return requests for comment.

-SK Bro. Mason Burhmaster

1 comments:

  1. This one is freaking hilarious! Now what about South Asians calling me to try and fix my PC but need my credit card number?

    ReplyDelete