Monday, December 25, 2017


The Past Bastard has been busy with those stupid year end lodge activities that we can't foist off on our interns: elections, installations, parties, hangovers, and holiday shopping. Not necessarily in that order.

We will be back to publishing actual content after the New Year. In the meanwhile, here's some holiday themed posts to keep you entertained.


Ash Grove, OH - Ash Grove Commandery No. 65 of Ash Grove, Ohio rejected the petition of of Jesus of Nazareth, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, citing the rule that a petitioner be a "firm believer in the Christian Religion."

“We really wanted our dear Lord, the Redeemer of the World, to have been able to join us, but he is Jewish,“ said Eminent Commander Jim Sampson, “The petition form is clear. A petitioner must be a ‘firm believer in the Christian Religion.’ That comes right from Section 177 of the Grand Encampment’s Constitution. That would have to be changed at the Triennial. We just can’t do anything about it.”
“I’d love to sit in lodge with my Savior. I pray to Him each day, the day He has made for me. In fact, I would love to be in any Masonic body with Him,” Sampson continued. “Commandery is different. And let’s face, He, being Jewish, probably wouldn’t get much out of it.”
The Word Made Flesh, who continues to serve as a High Priest of Heaven and Earth, did not wish to comment on Ash Grove Commandery’s decision to exclude the Lamb of God from its membership. His spokesperson, Pastor Jim Neville, local minister of Ash Grove Presbyterian Church and Sir Knight, declared, “this is outrageous! They do realize why we are even Sir Knights, right? What’s next? We just stop talking about him altogether?”
“I know that my Lord and Savior is disappointed in not being allowed to join our work, “ Sampson continued, “but the rule is the rule. He’s more than welcome to attend the public Christmas Observance; it’s his birthday after all.

-- RF


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