Thursday, November 15, 2018

Lodge finds delicious way to deal with cultural appropriation protesters

Seattle, WA -- For several decades the members of Composite Lodge on Seattle's east side would have a Hawaiian Shirt Night, at which members would show up casually dressed in shorts and loud, floral island shirts, have a short meeting, and then enjoy a pig roast. That tradition may come to an end, however, as a relic of a bygone time.
Chanting and holding signs saying "My Culture Is Not Your Costume," dozens of protesters have stood outside Composite Lodge for the last week, demanding an end to their politically incorrect tradition. Protest organizer, and chapter head of EraseTheHate, Colleen O'Connor, explained: 

"It's terribly offensive to native Asian Pacific Island people. Those floral island print shirts are a sacred tradition, and the Masons are being culturally insensitive by trying to appropriate those cultural items, and making them into a joke."

"Umm... no, it's not," said Jason Kahale, Master of Composite Lodge. Speaking to The Past Bastard, he told us, "My grandfather came here from Hawaii in after World War 2. He, my father, and two of my uncles have been members here. I have friends and cousins from this and other lodges with similar goofy traditions. I'm pretty sure if there were something insulting going on, we'd know about it. "

Colleen O'Connor was unswayed by his remarks. "He's become too integrated with American culture to know that his native culture has been appropriated and whitewashed, and we're going to camp outside this lodge until the members are educated."

The Past Bastard will follow up with this story as events unfold.


The Past Bastard contacted Worshipful Brother Jason Kahale several days after the Hawaiian Shirt Night took place.

"Funny thing, but despite having the potential for some bad optics, it actually ended up pretty well," WB Kahale said. "Once the smells from the pig roast started drifting across the parking lot, the protestors seemed to lose interest. In fact, we cut some slices of roast pig and some pineapple and brought it over for them. That shut most of them up, and they came over to talk to us. We even got a few requests for petitions out of it, and a couple of the younger women asked about the Eastern Star chapter."

"The best way to appropriate culture is to eat some of it," WB Kahale told us. "I can't wait to see what happens next month when we start doing a Taco Tuesday."


  1. What The Offended don't want you to know is that at the at the heart of every cultural appropriation brouhaha is an offense against style. Those shirts... -Bro. Uhaha