Monday, December 17, 2018

Rhetorical Voices: Does your lodge have a Xmas tree?

The Past Bastard interviews random members from random lodges on random topics of Masonic importance. 

Question: Do you have a Xmas tree in your lodge?

Dexter Wigglesworth, Junior Warden, Intemperance Lodge No. 420: 
"A Christmas tree? Ugh, please educate yourself. The Christians stole the traditions of the pagans in the areas in order to force their orthodoxy on the people they were conquering. Please don't call it a Christmas tree; it's a Yule celebration of the equinox, symbolizing how life carries through beyond death."
Diana Prince, Worshipful Master, Amazonian Lodge, HFAF:
"Well, we wanted to, especially since we now have a real lodge space, and we don't have to rent that room over the truck stop anymore. The problem is, Brother Sarah picked one up from the Home Depot store, but when we got it here, none of us could lift it up the stairs. So, right now, it's sitting in the lobby until we can get a decorating committee together, which probably won't happen until January because everyone's so busy at this time of the year."
Mary Steinberg, Past Worthy Matron, Nile Chapter, OES:
"Your'e kidding, right? I mean, don't you know we had that fine last year from the state fire board or whatever? Can't have live trees in public buildings anymore, 'cos the potential fire hazards, you know? Oh, sure, we might have gotten a nice artificial tree from Target, but no-o-o-o, that harpy Nancy Winters had to put up a fuss over it. "Oooh, it's too much plastic fumes, I can't breathe, it'll give me a migraine!" Yeah, that shrew smokes a pack a day, but she has chemical sensitivity around a plastic tree? Puh-leeze."
Hudson Hawk, Past Master, Shibboleth Lodge:
"You damn liberals screw up everything, you know that? An EX-Mass tree? Hell, no, it's a God damned CHRIST-Mass tree, ya hippie! I'm so tired of you liberals trying to take the Jesus out of the holiday. "


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