Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Rumors surface in Hollywood of new movie Freemasons will want to see

Burbank, CA -- Rumors have surfaced this week that Marvel Studios, known for their successful and popular line of superhero movies, are currently working on a new film with a superhero that will be of interest to Freemasons. The Past Bastard contacted a MCU (Marvel Comic Universe) writer, who requested anonymity.

“It’s still in the draft stages right now,” the writer told The Past Bastard, “but the basics are this guy, Hiram Masters, who, in order to save this busload of orphans that was about to go off the edge of a cliff, makes a deal with Baphomet. Baphomet, who we think will be played by someone like Mark Sheppard, grants Masters super strength, so he pulls the bus off the edge of the cliff, right? But now he owes his soul, and the only way he thinks that he’ll be able to avoid eternity in Hell is to continue helping and saving women and children. As he goes along, he picks up other guys in similar predicaments, and they eventually form their own little, you know, club or lodge, I guess you call it.”
Hiram Masters is a Freemason
who was granted superhuman powers in order to save a busload of orphans, but who now owes his soul to the demon Baphomet. 

So, why the Freemason tie-in?

“We, you know, the MCU, we try to hit different demographics, and we’ve noticed that there’s a significant share of older folks who don’t get Deadpool, or Ant Man, or some of the other niche superheros. We thought that a superhero who was a Freemason would draw in the older people, especially since it aligns with the current Freemason membership demographics. Plus, since the Masons are so secretive, it means that if the franchise takes off, we can do all sorts of backstory changes, and nobody will be able to say it’s not canon.”

The Past Bastard asked if the writer could share any more details.

“Look, it’s way too early to say for certain, but we’ve already got Will Smith reading for the part of Hiram Masters, although personally I think he’s too old. We’re hoping for a younger guy, like Chad Boseman or Nicholas Hoult, Danny Kaluuya, or someone like those guys.”

The writer told The Past Bastard that the working title right now is “Goat Rider,”  and once they get production approval, will be releasing promotional materials sometime in the fall. "It's like Ant Man. We didn't expect much from it, but it turned out that people really enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure that this will end up the same way," he said.


  1. Not mentioned is that his superpowers only work for one hour on Monday evenings, and not during summer. And these jokers need a film consultant - everybody knows the goat is ridden backwards...