Thursday, October 17, 2019

GL Kentucky undertakes emergency ritual training when lodge discovered to be passing down incorrect word

Madisonville, KY -- The Custodians of the Work of Grand Lodge of Kentucky have announced emergency measures for retraining the last several generations of Freemasons in some of the lodges in the western end of the state, after it was discovered that virtually all of the members have been passing down the wrong "Master's Word." 
Friend corn bread, sometimes called
Indian Bread or Corn Pone is a popular side
dish in the southern and midwestern states.

"I realize that it's a big state, and our own Grand Lodge has to take some of the responsibility here," said Very Worshipful Buck Hatfield, District Director of Ceremonies.  "We don't get out to the rural lodges as often as we should, so nobody ever really noticed this. Fortunately, Bob McCoy happened to figure it out, so we can at least work to correct the problem."

Hatfield was talking about Right Worshipful Robert McCoy, DDGM in one of the western districts. The Past Bastard reached out to RW McCoy. "I was just making one of those routine lodge visits in... well, I suppose I shouldn't mention the lodge. But anyway, they served up a nice fry-up before the meeting, and I was up at one end of the table, and I said to the fellers at the other end, 'Hey, would you pass me the corn pone?' All of a sudden, everything got real quiet. A couple of old timers dropped their forks, and everybody just swiveled their heads to look at me. "

Over the course of the dinner and subsequent meeting, RW McCoy determined that for at least the previous thirty three years, and possibly longer, lodge members had been passing down a regional name for corn bread, instead of the correct version of the "Master's Word."

The Past Bastard asked how this could have happened. 

"That's the problem with the lodges out in the sticks," VW Hatfield explained. "Not only don't we get out there as often, but frankly, some of them are so small that we forget about them. Hell, the lodge we're talking about is only fifty miles as the crow flies from Madisonville, but it's literally a four hour drive to get there -- which nobody even wants to attempt in the spring or fall rainy season, so probably nobody checked on this lodge since Reagan was president."

The Past Bastard asked what the resolution for this situation was going to be. 

"Well, the secretary, he's calling all the old lodge members, which ain't easy because most of them are in Florida now," VW Hatfield told us. "The Grand Master gave them a dispensation to ask them for the word over the phone, and to correct them if they heard it wrong. From what I understand, that's not going well, either. But in the meantime, we're sending more guys out to the smaller lodges in the surrounding area to check, and hopefully retrain them."

"The members of this lodge were playing a thirty-odd year long game of Telephone," added RW McCoy. "Fortunately, it's only that one word they got wrong. At least they didn't pass down the other words 'Bows Ass' and "Sherbet Test' wrong, too."


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