Monday, December 12, 2016

MSANA to roll out Masonic insurance organization for Brethren fearing discrimination

Burtonsville, MD - The Masonic Service Association of North America (MSANA) is standing up a new organization to raise funds and assist brethren who fear they might be discriminated against by their respective Grand Lodges to the point of indefinite suspension and/or expulsion from the fraternity. The newly-christened "Masonic Insurance Association," or MIA for short, is reportedly rolling out a set of insurance policies geared toward reimbursing petition fees, degree fees, dues and, in some cases, even regalia costs.

Bro. Joe Snow, Executive Director of the MIA, sat down with The Past Bastard to discuss the organization's new campaign: "It's been an unsettling year for Freemasonry in North America. As reports of brethren being removed from the fraternity due to race, sexual preference, and even internet usage are rising precipitously across the country, we here at the MIA can't stand idly by. We can't reverse the Grand Lodge decisionmaking process--or lack thereof--but we can lessen the emotional burden on a brother facing potential discriminatory penalties by giving him an avenue to recoup the money previously spent on Freemasonry. With our help, the only thing you can't get back is your time."

Bro. Snow continued by explaining that the policies would run on a sliding scale of benefits. "Naturally, one size doesn't fit all here. Different brethren suffer from different amounts of mean concern. You'll edit out that slip of the tongue, right? Anyway, we've got plans to fit everyone's needs whether you just want your petition fees or annual dues covered up to full life memberships! Under certain circumstances, we can even do a regalia rider."

When asked how the insurance premiums would be calculated, Bro. Snow explained: "The MIA takes a wide variety of factors into account when assigning premiums. Each applicant will be required to fill out a questionnaire that polls demographic data such as race, religion, and sexual preference, as well as questions on how active a presence one maintains on social media or how much one enjoys esoteric research topics. The applicant's Grand Jurisdiction also weighs heavily. As one could guess, an applicant from volatile jurisdictions such as Arkansas or Tennessee will, on the aggregate, see higher premiums than one from California or Washington, D.C. We run those factors and more through a highly trained algorithm to compute the lowest rate possible. It's all very scientific."

When The Past Bastard asked Bro. Joe about any exceptions or limitations to these policies, he reported: "Obviously we can't insure anyone for preexisting charges or conditions, and we only insure for cases of discrimination. Finally, those seeking compensation for lost life memberships need to be aware that the value of a given life membership depreciates on a quarterly basis."

- SK Bro. Mason Burhmaster


  1. "nothing worth fighting for ever came easy" and the beautiful thing I like about America, is if you don't like it in one state, you may simply go to the next state and deal with rules you agree with.

    No harm in that!

    True Freedom is a double sided sword in the sense that one state should get the freedom for everybody to have a role... BUT... another state should also have the right to choose what they want.

    Our fraternity is only as diverse as America is, we must understand that, as it is fact. The morals we have been taught that impacted us must be practiced in human spirit before they may make a change in other people.

    It would only be selfish for anybody to want ALL of the fraternity to be the way & act the way one person wants them to.

    People understand individual freedom very well... but they struggle with the concept of territorial freedom.

    example... Americans think all states should legalize gay-marriage, but don't worry about Canada or Mexico at all.

    It really shows they understand freedom in their backyard but across borders they either don't care or want to dictate their own rules on them.