Monday, October 9, 2017

Grand Lodge Ontario goes metric

Hamilton, ON -- In what many see as one more step in a separatist movement within the province, the Grand Lodge of Ontario has declared that it will formerly adopt the metric system. While this was unclear at first how it would impact Freemasonry, spokesman RWB Jacques Robespierre, District Deputee Grand Master consented to an interview with The Past Bastard.

"Well, this has been a long time in coming, I'll let you be told, " said RWB Robespierre, "And many of us in the Grand Loge are vair' excitement about this move forwaird. Our first item on le agenda, as you say, will be to stop using le vingte-quartre gage because it is all in the inches. From now on, our Francmasons Apprenticees will be instructed in the using of the Rule de Metric, by which they will have trente-trois centimetres pour sairvice, trente-trois for les usual vocations, and trente-trois for le sleep and dinnaire."

We noted that this only adds up to ninety-nine, but assumed that they would be forgiven the rounding error. However, The Past Bastaird then pointed out that the thirty three centimeters does not correspond to the twenty four hours in a day, and therefore destroys the symbolism. RWB Robespierre responded by lapsing into crude French, and then pretending as if he could not understand us. He then ended the interview.

Attempts at further communication by Le Past Bastaird have since gone unanswered.

-- Conte Calvino Gliostro


  1. Is actually pretty funny, but the French speaking price is Quebec, not Ontario