Thursday, March 22, 2018

SR NMJ to communicate entirely by Twitter

Seacaucus, NJ -- Hinting via videos that there were going to be "major changes coming to the Scottish Rite in the upcoming months," the Scottish Rite NMJ announced that by the end of  this year, all official communications will be made by Twitter.

The soon to be empty SR Auditorium where the NMJ
records their video degrees to be mailed to candidates.
"It was the next logical progression," said David Glattly, 32ยบ Sovereign Grand Commander for the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction told The Past Bastard during a recent Google Hangouts interview.. "We're trying to position ourselves as the more progressive version of the Scottish Rite. The past couple of years have shown  us that Twitter is the new way to communicate, especially since they doubled their character limit."

We asked Commander Glattly if he really thought Twitter would be enough to communicate their messages.

"Most people don't have time to read any long messages anymore, so Twitter is perfect. And if we need to get into any more depth, we can easily write up a script and have one of our guys do a video. Millenials love videos."

The Past Bastard noted that the Southern Jurisdiction seemed to be doing well doing things the more traditional way, and that some NMJ members have complained about the NMJ turning itself into something very different from the original Scottish Rite

"Nonsense, the members love this," said Commander Glattly. "I mean, we're already livestreaming meetings, and we have DVDs of degree work. Our expectation is that by the end of my term, we should be able to run without any human interaction at all."


  1. Jesus wept. They're going to think I wrote this.

  2. Might as well, with all the hearing aids causing interference with each other at the in-person meetings. Now I can just eat, tweet, and beat feet.