George Washington Masonic Memorial To Add New Museum Wing

Alexandria, VA -- Officials at the George Washington Masonic Memorial have announced plans to open another wing at the museum, to feature the various collections of Masonic Square & Compasses pins that they have acquired over the last few years.

“It’s amazing, but people all over the US, and other parts of the world keep sending us different pins and medals that they keep finding,” Mike Taggart, Director of Museum Collections told The Past Bastard. “Usually they tell us it was something they discovered in their grandfather’s basement, or in a box their uncle gave them, or something they found somewhere. We’ve amassed a rather large collection of these, and we decided that they needed their own display area.”

Site of the planned wing of the
George Washington Masonic Memorial
which is being built to display the vast
collection of pins the museum has amassed.

The new wing will accommodate several thousands of pins, lapel pins, and chest medals the Museum has received. Volunteers are already working on cataloging them for the display areas.

The Past Bastard asked Taggart if they thought pins warranted an entire wing.

“Oh, definitely,” he told us. “Why, we get literally hundreds of visitors a year, and almost all of them are Freemasons who are wearing lapel pins of some sort. We all know that Masons are crazy about pins, so this wing will probably double our visitor count over the next few years.”

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Grand Master moves to posthumously expel George Washington

Alexandria, VA - In a shocking turn of events, The Past Bastard has learned that Most Worshipful Vermin Crook, the Grand Master of Virginia, has put forward plans to posthumously expel George Washington from membership in Freemasonry. Sources close to the Grand Lodge, who spoke to The Past Bastard on the condition of anonymity, cite the strained relationship between the Grand Lodge and one of its subordinates, namely Alexandria-Washington Lodge #22, as the catalyst for the expulsion of the most famous American Freemason who ever lived: "Ever since Most Worshipful Crook busted in and took the Lodge's charter back in April, he's been trying to root out the cause of the Lodge's so-called 'deviant' behavior," said one source, "after he forcibly removed from office the AW-22 Worshipful Master, Senior Warden, Secretary, Treasurer, Almoner, Stewards, a bunch of past masters, and two non-masons who happened to show up for dinner, the Grand Master set his sights on Bro. Washington."

When The Past Bastard asked why the Virginia Grand Master felt it necessary to press charges against Bro. George Washington, our source replied: "There we two things working against Bro. Washington at that point. First, Most Worshipful Crook felt that Bro. Washington's reckless and rebellious lifestyle, as evidenced by his fighting against the British in the American Revolution, instilled a precedent for deviant behavior on the part of his future Lodge brethren. Second, Most Worshipful Crook feels that Bro. Washington should be held responsible as the founder of AW-22. We can't really blame the Grand Master for his position--these tensions wouldn't exist had the Lodge never been founded!"

"In the end," another anonymous source stated, "the Grand Lodge was left with few options. We could have suspended him and held a Masonic trial, but we all knew he wouldn't show up for it. The Grand Master decided we needed a clean break. He is looking forward to putting this unpleasantness behind him."

The Past Bastard reached out to the Grand Lodge of Virginia for comment, but the only response we received directed us to review the Grand Lodge's "Social Media, Public Relations, Information Technology, and the Internet is the Invention of Satan and You Should Never Ever Ever Use It" Policy and, to be honest, our writers had an easier time translating Morals and Dogma into Pig Latin than we did in deciphering that tome.

-Exalted Patron Doctor Dorian Dalton

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