Saturday, October 10, 2015

Eastern Star Chapter Champions 'Free the Nipple' Movement; Sees Dramatic Increase in Male Petitioners

Miami, FL--A local chapter of the Order of the Eastern Star is enjoying a surge in membership applications after the chapter voted unanimously to champion the "Free the Nipple" campaign as their official chapter charity. Greta Birkenstein, Worthy Matron of Great Light chapter of the Order of the Eastern Star was astonished at the turnout in support of the chapter's cause: "This is so exciting! A couple of months ago we were on the verge of closing our doors as a chapter, but with the recent influx of petitions, it looks like we'll be able to stick around for the foreseeable future."

But increasing membership isn't the only benefit that the chapter has derived from championing their new cause. Greta explains: "We've also greatly increased our visibility within the Miami Masonic community. In fact, we just received an official invitation from the Royal Order of the Jesters to attend their semi-annual smoker--the first time they have ever opened their doors to our organization. It's so wonderful seeing the entire Masonic family--even the awkward uncle no one talks about--rallying around a cause that promotes gender equality in today's society." Jerry Jermaine-Berryfield from Durka Durka Shrine Temple agreed: "It's so great that the ladies are taking up this noble cause. If nothing else, it might make the Eastern Star meetings sufferable for once."

The Order of the Eastern Star is a Freemasonic appendant body open to both men and women. It was established in 1850 by lawyer and educator Rob Morris, a noted Freemason. The "Free the Nipple" campaign seeks to strip society of its tendencies toward the sexualization of the female upper body, addressing hypocrisies and inconsistencies in American culture and legal systems that enforce its taboos. Ultimately, the campaign resolves to decriminalize female toplessness in the US and empower women across western nations in a greater effort toward global gender equality.

-Bro. Dionysius Bacchus III


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