Reading of the Minutes Causes Appreciation for Life

Blacksburg, VA—Masons gather to attend the monthly stated meeting with excitement. “These meetings provide us our real purpose as Masons, reflection.” Said John Sampson, Chairman of the lodge’s membership retention committee. While lodges around the country struggle with retaining young members due to the lack of education and personal development, this lodge has seemed to figure it out.

“The key is in the reading and approving of the minutes.” says Worshipful Master, Terry Finkle. We at the Past Bastard asked a few new Master Masons their thoughts on this new way of thinking, “Well, reading the minutes is so painful, it causes real reflection, I’m grateful. It’s so horrible, that I think about my outside life and I appreciate it, I think about all the things I take for granted.” Another member said “When I’m having a bad day, I just think about those minutes and how unbearable it is. “At least I’m not sitting through the minutes.” has become my daily mantra, especially when I have to go to the bathroom and I’m stuck in traffic. Reading the minutes is as Esoteric as you can get.”

Perhaps this new way of looking at things can change your perspective on the minutes. Perhaps it can be that reflection and inner work your members are looking for. Perhaps reading the minutes is the new self-flagellation. This is one reporter who will try out this new technique, it sure beats thinking about blowing my brains out. Can I have a motion to accept this report? Can I get a second?

Dr. Worshipful Chaz Nagler, 49°