Saturday, October 17, 2015

God Kills Candidate for Using Wrong VSL

Pope County, Arkansas—Police and fire crews responded to an apparent explosion Friday evening at McDoodle Lodge #137, as a man was literally smote by God. The reason? “We asked him which Volume of Sacred Law he preferred on the altar for his obligation, he said he would prefer to use the Bagvadhgita.” Moments later, eye witnesses reported a sound of thunder and the man in question exploding.

Like a scene right out of “This is Spinal Tap”, when the band talked of their famed drummer rumored to have “…just exploded.”, not much was left but a few globules. When reached out for comment the Master of the lodge, Nick Florentino had this to say-- “I can only assume he chose the wrong VSL, around here, we use the St. James Bible, and God made that clear today.”

The fire chief and police investigators were at a loss but did say that “…this kind of thing happens from time to time, especially in the bible belt. There’s just no room for alternate view points down here.” The man’s family could not be reached for comment. The lodge will hold a “clean up day” to remove all traces of God’s handiwork. Remember, before they pick the VSL of their choice, ask them another question... "WWJD?"

The Bagvadhgita is a holy book used by countless Hindus in religious practices and contains an extremely rich history.

Worshipful, Dr. Chaz Nagler, Esq. 49˚


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